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GREG GUTFELD: Trump's Iowa victory sparked Democrat paranoia and media hysteria

OpinionGREG GUTFELD: Trump's Iowa victory sparked Democrat paranoia and media hysteria

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Happy Wednesday, everybody. Uh. So as you know, Trump won big in Iowa, which means it’s time for Democrats to freak out. Of course, it’s always time for Dems to freak out unless you bring up the border, the economy, crime, or Biden getting lost in his yard and then there’s nothing to see here, folks. But Trump really seems to bring out their inner Kathy Griffin. Hell, even Joy Reid bought a Donald Trump wig, it’s true. But the closer he gets to the White House, the closer they get to committing hari-kari with a pair of dull knitting needles. They see Trump in their brain seize up like Obama’s appetite when he watches a dog show, he eats dogs.

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So what’s really going on? What are they planning next? 

Well, it’s to push the idea that Trump will stage a totalitarian takeover and NBC helped plant this seed with this headline: “Fears grow that Trump will use the military in ‘dictatorial ways’ if he returns to the White House.” Sounds pretty scary, right? But that’s the setup. Here’s more: “Donald Trump is sparking fears among those who understand the inner workings of the Pentagon, that he would convert the nonpartisan U.S. military into the muscular arm of his political agenda as he makes comments about dictatorships and devalues the checks and balances that underpin the nation’s two-century-old democracy.” By the way, sparking fears is code for let scare you about things that haven’t happened and only exist in our demented minds. And who are these mysterious experts? Well, like Raymond Arroyo trying to make a rap album, no one wants to be on the record. NBC refers to them as, “a loose-knit network of public interest groups and lawmakers” who are “quietly devising plans to try to foil any efforts to expand presidential power.” 

Now, that sounds a lot more like a well financed network of lefty know it alls who never recovered from Hillary getting spanked in 2016 and my apologies for that imagery, but you can see where this is going. It’s another cabal, another soft coup. Their plan involves, “preparing to take legal action and send letters to Trump appointees spelling out consequences they’d face if they undermined constitutional norms.” This is crazy. It kind of sounds like that letter of 50 intel experts that spontaneously sprung up when Hunter’s laptop dropped. Amazing how they had that ready, right? No collusion between the media, government and Democrats there.

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See, the NBC article is designed to make you think past the sale to assume Trump will indeed ask the military to do something very bad when he’s elected. And so this story is to prep you for their aggression and not Trump’s, because the very same people putting this plan together are the same who will encourage militant resistance to Trump. And they want to make sure he can’t respond if and when things turn violent. 

The problem? None of this is real. 

If Trump’s plan is to use the military for his own gain, why didn’t he do it the first time? You know, he had four years to do that, and he didn’t even invade Canada, which is a gimme, so easy. 

So if Trump really wanted to become a dictator, then why isn’t he one? He had the chance. Yet the Dems keep sparking fears like he’s some new unknown threat out of nowhere. The man was in Home Alone 2, for Pete’s sake. He didn’t even send troops to break up Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and we know he should have. Yeah, and if they’re so worried about a president violating constitutional norms, why are they cheering while Joe Biden directs the use of lawfare against his probable opponent in 2024.

Why? Because libs always accuse Republicans of the crap they do themselves. Weaponizing the IRS, done. Using the FBI to set up citizens from parents at school board meetings to anybody within five miles of the Capitol on January 6th, done and done. So you think Trump will lead us into World War III? Then how do you ignore Biden flirting with it week to week? To them, Trump, who loved the military, yet rarely used it, is the potential dictator. While Biden can’t wait to bog our forces down in Ukraine, the Middle East, China, hell, the guy just ordered military strikes without Congressional approval, all while his defense secretary can only be reached using his doctors index finger.

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Oh, I don’t know. Why aren’t they saying a thing about Biden interfering in the investigation of Hunter, the presidential son who puts the penis in defying subpoenas? It works. It’s in there. Somebody should tell Joe his first job is to protect the American people, not just his brother and idiot son. See, it’s Biden who’s ignoring the rule of law at the border. It’s Biden who’s unconstitutionally forgiving student loans, paying off young voters with our money. It’s Biden who sees America as his kingdom, but okay, let’s say Trump declared himself president for life, and the military goes along. What would that even look like? 

Trump’s first day as dictator might be this: One, open windows, replace a Biden “Old man smell” with my “Own old man smell,” two nuke enemies in Tehran and Harvard, three lunch — Trump steaks — extra ketchup, four charge Hillary Clinton with murder. Not so bad. Oh I’m kidding. You are terrible people. So what you’re seeing from the left is pure projection, and it’s giving people a reason to vote for Trump because once again, he’s pissing off the right people. All these hacks suddenly care about the president violating the Constitution, but never with a Democrat in the Oval Office and Biden has the 25th amendment written all over him, along with Do Not Resuscitate, which was added by Kamala Harris.

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The only time the press ever challenges the president is when he’s a Republican. So if you vote for Biden, you’re giving them four more years off and come on, I just don’t think Trump wants to be dictator. Who waits till he’s 80 to become Hitler? Not even Hitler.

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